Unsolicited Laser Tag and Dating Spiders

I haven’t thought very hard about how I’m going to approach this newsletter situation so please don’t take me too seriously, I’m a silly girl. It’ll probably emerge as a woven mess of what should be a journal entry, fat yarns about symbiosis and textiles, reflections, and dreams for the future. The structure is subject to change every time and frequency is not something I’m committing to. This time round we have a collection of experiences and ponderings, a little plate of things to nibble on. Thanks for subscribing x 

I started writing ooh here we go. I started writing about validation. A little while ago I was heartbroken, so naturally I’ve been picking apart why I keep trying to fill my validation hole with romantic relationships with men. I guess that can be a euphemism if you want it to, but I do mean hole in the non-physical, void-like sense. 

The question of why myself and so many other women I talk to feel this (metaphorical) hole to be filled by pats on the back from those with a Y chromosome, is not something I can be bothered answering at the moment. I’ve come to accept I may never answer this question. Answering it probably won’t release me of the cognitive ankle rolls the modern romance experience offers anyway. So fuck that.

If dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which beings engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship, I’ve been dating spiders. 

We are in an intimate symbiotic relationship. 

That is the golden sentence. It’s the reason I spend my time the way that I do, and I forget it sometimes. Ah fuck maybe that’s why I indulge in romantic and sexual relationships. I forget about my deeply embedded existence in the ecosystem that cradles me. 

Arachnids are just so great. I don’t want them in my bed, but I have a personal respect for spiders. Where I was born, on Boonwurrung country, the spiders might kill you. They demand an immediate sense of formidability with their red lighting bolt backs and swole hairy bodies. At age 5 I brought a dead spider to school for show and tell. It came with me in a cream and pink ceramic box with ceramic ballet shoes on top and floral details all over. The kind of box people would put rings in or baby teeth for the tooth fairy. Inside mine I carried this gorgeous spider and assisted our teacher aid in a good scream. 

I like being outside and making textiles, at the same time. You know who else likes being outside and making textiles? Spiders. When they make their geometric little death traps that double as homes on my artwork I feel immense validation. What better way to judge your weaving than by the original weavers willing to hangout and weave with you.

What about weeds! Man the engagement of activities between humans and weeds has been a fiery affair for millenia. Weeds have followed us all over the place. Sometimes intentionally. A few of them we got real toxic with too. We were all like “omg I love your healing and nourishing properties so much let me plant you here and let you thrive,” and then a hundred years later we’re like “goddamn dandelions on my lawn I’ll cut you in disrespect if you come near my home.” How confusing for the dandelions. I’ll return to the weed kōrero in later editions.

Rhianna and I were looking for experiences to gift our mothers for Mother’s Day (coming up this weekend by the way, you’re welcome). We came across laser tag coupons. This brought back decadent teenage memories of Laser Strike in Ōtautahi. Unfortunately often including the male validation whirlpool. “What if I got you laser tag for your birthday and didn’t tell you. Unsolicited laser tag?” 

I moved flats a few months ago so naturally marketplace munching has been a common flat bonding activity. We came across this felt hedgehog on a log with bells the other night. A real treat. What really sold it was ‘This hedgehog is not just for Christmas - it’s for life!’ And that is just so true. This hedgehog will likely outlive me and you, materially. Remember how we’re deeply embedded in symbiotic relationship with our ecosystems? Yeah so is this handmade felted hedgehog on a log called Jingle Bells. I am currently trying to secure the purchase of Jingle Bells for Rhianna. Unsolicited hedgehog on a log?

I want to deconstruct the Micro Mill tapestries. I’m going to make the community that made them take them apart and find each piece a purpose or a place to rest and transform. Micro Mill: deconstructed. Personally I think this a great natural progression for the project and investigates that golden sentence again. Lets look at our waste systems right in the landfill hole. Together. It’s spooky but I’ll hold your hand I promise. I’m also a material hoarder and I don’t want this bag of people's trash in my workshop anymore. I kid, it's actually very valuable community artwork, but I still don't want it. I love to facilitate the textile-ing but oh my god would I like to have less material responsibility in this world. Maybe we don't need Jingle Bells in the house, maybe their story is enough.

Thank you for reading this first edition of my silly little newsletter. If you have any name suggestions let me know. I'd also love to feature friends in silly little collaborative ways. i.e Rhianna would like to offer some shit advice in the next newsletter so please write back with any queries or qualms you would like some diabolical guidance on. Also feel free to send me any words at all, of encouragement, discouragement, neutrality, go hard. 

Be emotional, be healthy, and eat woke food byeeeee 

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